Four reasons not to set New Year's Resolutions

Firstly Happy New Year to you!

I hope you had a fantastic and refreshing festive break. As you read this, the majority of self-employed business owners are getting ready for their first full day back at work. The best thing about being your own boss is that you get to decide when and where to turn up.

How did the holidays serve you?

Stepping away from the 'busy-ness' is always a golden opportunity to pause, reflect and reset. What went well this past twelve months and what is next on the agenda for your plans of world domination. We then start to ponder the things we should have done but didn't (for reasons that I'll get into in another blog I'm sure).

An honest appraisal of our own 'story so far' is good - it allows us to bring our to-do list back in line with the Big Business Wish we are ultimately working towards. But this is where things can get a little prickly:

Four reasons to not set New Year's Resolutions

The word 'resolution' is, itself an imperative of sorts - suggesting we must be 'resolute' in the change(s) we wish to make. As true as that is, demanding resolution of ourselves only works when the following four obstacles are not in your way:

1. We are trying to change too many things at once

2. Setting bold resolutions can create a friction that is too great to overcome

3. "The first of the first" isn't a magical date to hang our hopes on

4. The resolution doesn't actually serve our Big Business Wish

We are trying to change too many things at once

Let's use the gym as an accessible example. You want to get fit for 2025, lose weight and eat more healthily. That is an awful lot to commit to in one go.

Your body won't thank you as you jump from zero to five gym visits a week. The fridge is still full of leftover Christmas cheese (see point two, below) and your existing routine hasn't had to cope with setting aside the required time and effort. This is why gyms are rammed in January and back to normal by February. You have demanded too much from yourself and it is not sustainable.

And when you fail, you feel deflated.

But why did you fail?

Too much friction

James Clear breaks it down perfectly in his book Atomic Habits - make the resolutions as easy to stick to as possible and remove friction. In the above example, friction would include:

• The leftover cheese - How can you suddenly switch to three healthy meals a day when your fridge is still full of treats? What about starting with a healthy breakfast and trimming down on the snacks first?

• Getting to the gym - You didn't have time to go five days a week before so where is this new-found free-time coming from? Would it be more reasonable to commit to one, then two, then three times a week? Adjust your schedule more slowly and more realistically. Set a target of five weekly sessions by March (rather than on 1st January) and build up to it. Habits and routines become much easier to stick to if you progress more naturally rather than send yourself into shock.

The "first of the first"

This is perfectionism at its finest - "I won't start until the calendar says I can..." This year, the 1st January was mid-week and most people still had a weekend before their return to work. "So maybe I'll start on Monday 6th instead..." That's potentially six days of delay/friction that is going to allow the guilt to creep in ("Oh I should have started already, shouldn't I?"), and, straight away, you're beating yourself up over ambitions you haven't even given yourself a chance to pursue (yet).

I am a firm believer in not putting off until tomorrow what you can do today but, as above... a little today is better than nothing until next week. Sticking with the fitness example, go for a walk... get your steps in. Reward yourself with a healthy(er than normal) brunch... and so on.

The resolution doesn't actually serve your Big Business Wish

This is an interesting one - you want to lose some weight so you've decided that you're going to hit the gym. What if it turns out that you hate the gym? You've paid for three months up front and now you find that it's full of Insta-gymers who are always on their phones, the equipment is always being used (or out of use)...

But you've paid... surely you have to stick with it...

No you don't! Why force an expectation that will only manifest guilt?

There are other ways to get your body moving: daily walks, cycle to the office. Is there a better (more 'you') way to become more active that will move you closer to your goal, and that will not be laboured with friction and frustration? Something that you can build up to and turn into an enjoyable daily habit?

The best way to build better habits

I've given you four reasons to not set New Year's Resolutions. Resolutions aren't an inherently bad thing. I applaud anyone who wants to make a positive change in their lives. They just need to resonate with you in a way that makes them easier, more attractive, more achievable (and more enjoyable).

Secrets to successfully developing a new habit, include:

• Start small and start now - Don't set an arbitrary date in the future and pile all the pressure onto that first day. A single positive step today will more easily move you towards two steps tomorrow

• Make it fun - By all means build in accountability. There are plenty of free habit tracking apps (I use Habitty) which allow you to tick off your new habit list. It is fun to see the build-up of ticks. See if you can set an ongoing streak of regular daily 'ticks'. Enjoy seeing those ticks build up and reward yourself when you hit milestones

• Remove friction - Make it as easy as possible to stick to your new habit. Remove distraction and temptation and ensure that what you need is in front of you (walking boots or gym bag by the front door, Christmas chocolate relegated to the back of the cupboard etc...)

• Be kind to yourself - If you weren't going to the gym at all last month then two or three times this month is still better than not hitting five times a week, every week. Keep going - make it five-eight times next month then twelve or more etc...), but don't berate yourself when you are clearly still making progress.

• Remember why you are doing this - You had a reason for setting this resolution. If it is in line with your Big (Business) Wish, if it is dear to your heart and you are clear as to WHY it will bring you Victory (as I like to call it) - well the clearer that image is to you, the easier it will be to keep going.

What are the habits you are looking to introduce, adopt or grow this year? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading.